PRINCESS RECORDS, CHAPTER 13
“HISTORY”

“Guys?”
“Ebony...SHUT UP.”
Number 1 gave the Demon princess a death glare. Her eyes narrowed and her cheeks turned a light shade of pink despite their sickly paleness. Quickly, she raised a fist into the air. “If you say one more thing about Poseidon or where we are or where you can find a cheeseburger, I’ll...!”
“But I’ve figured out where we are for real!” Ebony protested, shaking her hands in front of her face wildly. “I mean it! This has nothing to do with a cheeseburger joint, I swear! Well, we might run into one along the way, but...”
“THAT’S IT. I’M GOING BACK TO THE MOON.” The teenager princess muttered a few curses under her breath and stomped off, expecting to be able to return to her home. After a moment, she turned and said, “We can’t travel without Poseidon, can we?”
Marane nodded. “The Night and Day Alchemist sets us off on our journeys, but it’s up to Poseidon to decide where we ultimately go. Technically, we can leave this planet, but we won’t be able to steer ourselves anywhere. We may end up even more lost than we already are.”
“We’re screwed, aren’t we?”
“For lack of a better term, yes.”
Number 1 dropped her head. “Why?!” she asked no one. “Why did I have to be one of the remaining princesses destined to save the Universe?! I have more important things to deal with! I never got to finish that video game I was playing!” She dropped to the ground and continued to shout in an overly dramatic way.
Elora sighed. “Maybe someone here can help us. There seems to be a lot of people. Look.”
Sure enough, the planet was hustling and bustling with people of all different sizes, shapes, and colors. None of the girls, except maybe the four of them as a group, had ever seen such diversity. The buildings looked to be of all different styles, too, ranging from pitched tents to sky-high industrial buildings.
“This is a planet inhabited by Humans,” Number 1 declared. “There are no Aliens or Demons among these people.” She picked herself up and joined the rest of the group, studying the crowd carefully. “I just wonder why everyone looks so different. I know that there are different sub-races within the Human race, but this is just ridiculous. Some of these people look to be from our time, and others look like they just stepped out of a history book!”
Elora perked up. “That’s it!” she realized. “This is a historical planet!”
The other girls looked at the Alien, confused. “So is this Earth’s history?” Marane asked. “Are all the major events of Earth here?”
“The British are coming!”
“Tora! Tora! Tora!”
“Let them eat cake!”
“Veni, vidi, vici!”
Silence.
That is, until Number 1 spoke up again. “Oh yeah, that’s definitely the history of the world.”
Ebony cocked an eyebrow. “Why are we talking about movies at a time like this?”
“You’re lucky you’re dead, Ebony.”
“Huh?”
“If you weren’t, I’d kill you. You’re freakin’ annoying.”
“...Do I get popcorn?”
“THAT’S IT.”
Elora grabbed onto the teenage princess and held her back. “Stop!” she begged. “Number 1, get a hold of yourself. This is no time to be picking fights. We need to figure out our situation and get some help!”
Marane nodded. “Besides, if it would have had any effect on her, we would have beaten the crap outta Ebony a long time ago.”
Ebony giggled victoriously.
After a moment, Elora let go of Number 1, sensing that the teenager had calmed down. She sighed heavily. “Alright, enough of that. Let’s go see if we can at least settle ourselves here until Poseidon comes back.”
Number 1 nodded. “Let’s go.”
The four girls gathered together and walked into a busier part of the town. They first noticed all the ashes Number 1 had mentioned earlier, and they carefully stepped around them while wondering what time period they were from. Marane almost bumped into the wall covered in cave paintings, but the girls pulled her back before a very hairy man in a loincloth could grab at her. Eventually, they made their way into a calm section of town, where the lights were dimmed low and the buildings were bright with activity.
Ebony looked into a shadow one of the buildings cast and saw a young woman standing there with a cigarette in one hand. The woman glanced up and smirked. “Visitors,” she laughed to herself. “Welcome, ladies. What time period you all from?”
“Um, we’re not from any historical period,” Marane explained nervously. “We’re lost actually. We lost our guide and ended up here.”
The woman raised an eyebrow. “Travelers from other planets? We don’t get those around here that often.”
“Can you tell us if there’s any way to contact our guide?”
“You could write him a letter. That’s the best I’ve got. If you want some other means of communication, go visit current Japan. I hear they’ve got these things that can track people all over the world.”
“That doesn’t help since, uh, this is the whole Universe we’re talking about.”
The woman shrugged. “Nothing I can do then. This is 1920s America. We’re not exactly concerned with communicating with outsiders right now.”
Elora looked up at the woman. “I get it!” she exclaimed. “You’re a flapper girl, aren’t you?”
The woman nodded arrogantly. “With these gams? Of course I am. The name is Teri. I perform at this here speakeasy.” She motioned towards the building behind her. “Prohibition hit us hard. It’s getting tougher to sell liquor without the cops catching our tails. So I guess you could say we’re on the lam, no?”
The girls stared at Teri. “Um, what did you just say?” Ebony asked. “I didn’t catch any of that.”
Number 1 rolled her eyes. “You couldn’t catch something if it was a foot in front of you.”
Teri sighed. “This is why I hate kids. You guys are so going to screw us over in the future. Really, you guys gotta leave running this country to the adults. If we continue as we are, America will be this amazing for years to come!”
Number 1 scratched her head. “I remember reading in a history book about how the stock market of America crashed in 1929. That led to the Great Depression in the 1930s. Then it joined World War II after Japan bombed Pearl Harbor in 1941. Is that what got America out of its financial trouble?”
The cigarette fell from Teri’s hand, and she ground it into the dirt. “No way,” she protested as she headed back into the speakeasy. “America is going to stay like this forever, I’m sure of it! There’s no way we can fall so hard at the rate we’re going.” She spat at the girls’ feet and slammed the door to the building behind her, calling out for some customers to gather around her and watch her dance.
The girls looked back at Number 1. “Is that really what happened to America?” Ebony asked.
The teenage princess nodded. “A lot of people of 1920s America, also known as the Jazz Age, didn’t believe that the stock market was going to crash even though there were plenty of warning signs.”
“Nibonitch did a little research of Earth’s history before it tried to invade it,” Elora interrupted. “We specifically looked at America because of its famed military, so I knew a bit about its recent history. I can’t give any details though.”
Marane nodded. “This is really interesting. Back on Akisuna, I had seen pictures of different historical periods in books, but I never thought I’d actually come face-to-face with someone from the eras.” She grinned and walked back out to the busy part of the city. “I want to see some more people! This is cool!”
The other girls grinned. “Yeah,” Number 1 agreed. “I guess we could be in worse places.”

A few hours later, the girls were tired from all their sightseeing. They had managed to hit many major time periods, many of them quite fascinating. They had spent some time watching artists work on paintings during the European Renaissance first, realizing just how much time went into each piece. They then decided to take Teri’s advice and visit modern Japan, where they people-watched. Really, modern Japan was like a whole world by itself with all the different people running about, especially in the urban areas. After that, they headed to Ancient Greece and watched a performance of Lysistrata in a traditional amphitheater. Ebony was particularly happy when the audience was invited to celebrate with the actors at the end of the play.
“It would have been better if they had had cheeseburgers,” she later commented.
After seeing a few other places, the girls nearly collapsed outside a shop close to where Teri’s speakeasy was. “Ah, that was so much fun!” Number 1 cheered. “I haven’t been anywhere interesting since I was called away to the moon! Teri said that this planet isn’t usually visited by others. That’s a shame since it could be an awesome tourist hotspot.”
Ebony nodded. “I say we go back to Teri’s speakeasy and have a drink.”
“No.”
“But...!”
“NO. You will not give Teri or anyone else alcohol poisoning.”
“Aw...”
Marane smiled sadly but the expression immediately disappeared. She felt bad. “We’re having so much fun,” she murmured as she stood. “We should be trying to find a way off this planet so we can locate the next princess. We don’t want the Skeleton Princess to find her first.”
Elora grinned. “That’s oddly mature for you. I agree. We’ve had our fun. Now we need to get back down to business.” She looked up at the shop sign hanging over her head, and her eyes widened. She immediately stood when the nearby window opened.
“Free sample on a lollipop, darling?” the storeowner asked sweetly. “All my candy is on sale today.”
The girls could practically see Elora glowing. “Candy!” she squealed, running into the shop.
Marane shook her head in defeat.
Ebony noticed this and grinned. “Don’t worry, Marane,” she reassured. “I’m sure that Poseidon is looking for us. I’ll bet he’s gotten his cheeseburger by now and is making his way across the Universe to find us.” She slumped up against the wall of the candy shop and slid down to the ground, constantly making eye contact with the life princess. “We can’t do anything on our own. We can’t even contact the Night and Day Alchemist like this. The only thing we can do is believe in Poseidon.”
Marane couldn’t agree. “I just...I just want everything to be right again. I want to bring Marina back to Akisuna and go home.”
“I never got the chance to hear about what happened to your sister,” Number 1 interrupted as she brought her legs to her chest. “What was she like? What did the Skeleton Princess do?”
“Marina is my four-year-old sister,” Marane explained sadly. “We’re ten years apart, but she’s a lot more mature and better suited to be a princess than I am. She’s smart and always thinks before she does anything. The Night and Day Alchemist said that she has a stronger heart than I do, and that’s why the Skeleton Princess took her instead of me. She wanted more power, obviously, so she probably thought she could squeeze something out of Marina even though she doesn’t directly give a gift to Earth. I’m pretty sure she just wanted to make me feel even weaker than I already am.”
Number 1 gazed into the sky, half-listening. “I don’t really care about what happens to her.”
“I figured as much.”
“But I guess you do. So if getting your sister back will get my ability to care back, I have no choice but to follow you.”
“And I want to die!” Ebony laughed. “I mean, well, I technically want to rest in peace. I’m already dead. I want the Skeleton Princess to release my soul into the afterlife. That’s fair enough, right?”
Number 1 shrugged. “I suppose so.” She stood and stretched. “Should we drag Elora out of there? It seems like she’s got a sweets obsession the same way Ebony’s got an alcohol obsession. If we don’t get her out of there, we could be stuck here for a while.” She waited for the others to nod before opening the door to the shop. “Elora! What’s taking you, huh?! Let’s go already!”
“You guys go on without me!” the Alien called. “I’ll meet up with you in a bit, okay? Let’s go to Ancient Egypt next, okay?”
Marane nodded. “Alright, we can do that. From what I understand, Egypt is a desert country. It might make me feel at home!” For the first time throughout the day, she smiled brightly. Taking Ebony’s and Number 1’s hands, she led them down the street and into the busy section of the city to find the ancient country.

A little bit less than an hour later, Elora emerged from the candy shop. “Thanks for the sweets, Trixie!” she called into the store. “It was very nice to meet you!”
“Good luck on your journey, Princess!” the old saleslady replied kindly, waving as the Alien left.
Elora grinned back at the woman and skipped down the streets of 1920s America back to the busy intersections. “Okay, time to find Ancient Egypt. Better ask someone.” She walked down a sidewalk towards what looked like another 20th century city, though she couldn’t recognize which one it was specifically.
Before she could guess though, Elora saw someone running towards her, and that someone appeared to be in distress. “Please don’t come here!” the person cried. “No, no, go back! 1920s America is that way! You don’t want to be here!”
Elora’s eyes widened. “Why not? What is this place?”
The person, a teenage girl who appeared to be around Elora’s age, shook her head. “This is 1940s Italy. We’re in the middle of a war. Germany is allied with us, and the Nazi party will exterminate outsiders.” She overlooked the Alien. “And...you’re definitely an outsider. Please go! I don’t want the Fascist party coming after you either!”
“Wait, what?” Elora asked, dumbfounded. “How long has this been going on?”
The girl whimpered. “Germany lost the war a few decades ago, and it left them weak because of the weak Balkans and such. Then...it only went downhill from there. So many people have been killed and not just in Germany! This horrible empire is expanding!”
Elora was silent. Slowly, the girl’s words processed in her head. War...allied...exterminate...people...killed...Her head shot up towards the girl, the bright pink eyes wide. “A war...” she finally whispered. “Invasions begin wars...Oh, my God!!” She quickly crumbled to the ground, holding onto herself and panting hard. “This is most of the Earth’s history, isn’t it?! Nothing but the invasions that start wars?! That happy America was all a lie!” She shot up towards the girl. “What ELSE has been happening in this world?! Huh?!”
“I can’t explain. Just trust me and get out of here!”
“No way! This is all my fault!”
“Unless you cast the single vote that got Hitler into power, I doubt you have anything to do with this.”
“No, I’m the very root of it all! I’m the Princess of Invasions!”
The girl stopped and stared at the Alien. “The Princess of Invasions?” she repeated.
“Yes...” Elora started crying.
The girl shuffled in her spot a bit. “Well, that’s not so bad. At least you don’t continue wars.” She paused. “By the way, I’m Bianca. You?”
“...Elora.”
Bianca smiled. “It’s nice to meet you, Princess Elora. I wish I could welcome you to Italy...”

“Hi, Cleopatra! Guess what? My friend Number 1 says you’re going to die of a snake bite!”
“EBONY. COME. SIT. STAY.”
Number 1 dragged the Demon away from the Egyptian Queen and back out onto the bare desert sands. “Marane, can we go already? I’m starting to get sunburned. I don’t want to have an attack just because of the heat! I’d rather beat somebody’s sorry behind!”
Marane sighed. “Alright, Number 1, we’ll go soon.” She turned back to the bare desert and basked in the open sun. “Ah, Akisuna, how I miss you...”
“Should we go get Elora?” Ebony suddenly asked. “It’s been almost an hour since we left 1920s America, and I don’t want that girl drinking without me. That’s no fair.”
“Yeah, I guess we should. I wonder where she ran off to.”
Number 1 grabbed Marane’s hand and led her out of Ancient Egypt back towards the main town with Ebony following closely behind. The teenage princess stopped at an intersection. “I wonder where Elora could have gone.”
“Somewhere with...?”
“NO CHEESEBURGERS.”

TO BE CONTINUED